Free Credit Report . Com

So for real, I love those free credit report . com commercials. I know the words to basically every single one of them. I've also realized that old lady shows up in almost every single one of them with the exception of a few. I do love me some good commercial singin though! I have also taken the liberty to type up all the lyrics for those who would like to sing-a-long. :)

Commercial 1:
Well they say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am i dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant
Its all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I’m in every evening serving chowder and ice tea
Shoulda gone to free credit report dot com
I coulda seen this comin’ at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you e-mail alerts
So you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in t shirts

Commercial 2:
Well I married my dream girl.I married my dream girl.But she didnt tell me her credit was bad.so now instead of living in a pleasant suburb.we’re living in the basement at her mom and dads.No we cant get a loan for a respectable home.Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card.If we’d gone to free credit report dot com,I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.

Commercial 3:
While I was shoppin’ for a new car, which one’s me?A cool Convertible or an SUV?Too bad I didn’t know my credit was whack,Cuz’ now I’m drivin’ off a lot in a used Subcompact.F-R-E-E that spells free,Credit report dot com baby.Saw their ads on my T.V.Thought about going, but was too lazy.Now instead of lookin’ fly n rollin’ phat,My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse’s gettin’ laughed at.F-R-E-E that spells free,Credit report dot com baby.

Commercial 4:
Check it out Gas prices blowin up sky high,Ditched my used subcompact for a two wheeled ride,Now I’m rollin Eco-friendly but i still look bad,When the bike store saw my credit they said, “This was all they had,”I’m singin,F to the R to the E to the E,To the C to the R to the E D I T,RE to the PORT to the DOT to the COM,Come on everybody grab your bike and sing along it’s easy…

Commercial 5:
When you’re a rock star
You get to party hardChampagne and caviar
Tricked out exotic cars
It’s just now I thought I’d be
‘Xcept the party’s not for meCause some punk opened a credit card
With my ID
Free — What?
Free Credit, Report.com
That’s the site I’m gonna hit
When I go home
They know how credit works
They send email alerts
Now I’m findin out
How bad reality hurts

Commercial 6:
I was getting depressed cause of all the stress I was feeling at homeHad a poor credit score and the number would haunt me wherever I go
But I moved to a place where my credit could stink and nobody would careI just wish that somebody had told me that place was a renaissance fair!
Free credit report dot comTell your friends, tell your dad, tell your mom
Never mind they’ve been singing our songSince we first showed up with our pirate hats on
If you’re not into fake swordfightsPointy slippers and green wool tights
Take a tip from a knight who knows free credit report dot com
LET’S GO!!

Commercial 7:
Buckle up everybody cause were taking a ride
It can strain your relationships and hurt your pride
It’s the credit roller coaster and as you can see it kinda bites so sing the lyrics with me:
When your debt goes up, your score goes down,
When you pay a little off it goes the other way around
It’s just the same for everybody every boy and girl,
The credit roller coaster makes you wanna hurl.
So throw your hands in the air, and wave ‘em around
Like a wannabe frat boy trying to get down
Then bring em right back to where your laptops at.

Commercial 8:
Wanted to get myself a new cell phone
So I could hear myself as a ringtone
Who knew the store would go
And check my credit score?
Now all they let me have is this dinosaur!
Hello hello hello, can anybody hear me?
I know I know I know, I should have gone to
FreeCreditReport.coooom!
That’s where I shoulda gone,
Could have got my knowledge on.

Commercial 9:
We were stuck in a basement apartment
Tiny rooms where the sun never blessed
So when we needed space for a family,
Set our sights on the wide, open, west.
Well I thought we’d see sierra vistas
And breathe air pure as new-fallen snow
But my poor credit score was a sinker (or stinker?),
Now we rent by the week in Reno.